Reasons to be Cheerful.

I have reasons to be cheerful.

However, whilst listening to Ian Dury I wondered if his reasons would stand up to scrutiny. How many reasons do we share and could this be used as quota for Cheerfulness?

What follows are the lyrics to 'Reasons to be Cheerful Part 3', listed out. To work out your Cheerfulness Quotient (CQ) just go down the list and select which ones might make you cheerful, just by virtue of its existence in the world. That by having 'boats' in this universe, for example, it is a happier place. Ian Dury would naturally have a CQ of 65, though this should not reflect a similar level of cheerfulness as Ian; after all he always seemed cheerful to me but I never knew him. Think of it as a relative Dury scale upon which we may all stand and be measured in a like manner. Whatever happened to parts one and two, I do not know.

I was about to go through the lyrics with an explanation but this has already been done, so I pass you over to this page (http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A847460 ) if you wish to know whether the items will make you cheerful.

In a similar vain, the comedian Dave Gorman did a one man show in Edinburgh for the Fringe, based around a thorough examination of these lyrics and their inherent truth. I do not know his conclusions but he talks about it in his website: http://www.davegorman.com/projects_reasons_cheerful.html

The CQ score of 65 can be exceeded by the inclusion of Bonus Points. These can be gained by adding your own verse and thus a few more reasons. Rhyming does seem to be a prerequisite though.

Some of Buddy Holly

The working folly

Good Golly Miss Molly

Boats

Hammersmith Palais

The Bolshoi Ballet

Jump back in the alley

Eighteen-wheeler Scammels

Domineker camels

All other mammals

Equal votes

Seeing Piccadilly

Fanny Smith

Willy

Being rather silly

Porridge oats

A bit of grin and bear it

A bit of come and share it

You're welcome

We can spare it

Yellow socks

Too short to be haughty

Too nutty to be naughty

Going on forty

No electric shocks

The juice of the carrot

The smile of a parrot

A little drop of claret

Anything that rocks

Elvis

Scotty

The days when I ain't spotty

Sitting on the potty

Curing smallpox

Health service glasses

Gigolos

Brasses

Round or skinny bottoms

Take your mum to Paris

Lighting up the chalice

Wee Willy Harris

Bantu

Stephen Biko

Listening to Rico

Harpo

Groucho

Chico

Cheddar cheese and pickle

The Vincent motor sickle

Slap and tickle

Woody Allen

Dali

Dimitri

Pasquale

Balabalabala

Volare

Something nice to study

Phoning up a buddy

Being in my nuddy

Saying 'okey-dokey'

Singalonga Smokey

Coming out of chokey

John Coltrane's soprano

Adi Celantano

Bonar Colleano

I have come up with some bonus 9 points via the following couplet.

Seeing Penn and Teller,
Smiling little feller,
Under an umbrella,
Laughing with your spouse.

Gadgets and an Xbox
Reading Fox in Sox,
Wooden building blocks,
Sitting in your house.

My CQ Score is: 60

I will let you guess which ones make me cheerful.